It is one of those random stories you hear and
listen to – if you have time – when fate leads you into the interiors of Uasin Gishu
County. It so happens that a neighbour was moving out and had hired some local
folks to load his truck. Unless you’re a nincompoop and you’re one who was
brought up poorly, courtesy will demand that you join and help the guys; and
since I’m not a nincompoop and I am one who was brought up properly, I joined
the fray.
Experience, if not history, will remind you that Nandis and politics
are inseparable. These guys love politics more than the way a Maasai warrior
loves his cows and even more than the way an uncircumcised, Pokot bandit loves
his gun. Before long, they were on Jackson Kibor’s case, (the elderly man who
recently divorced his wife).
It is important herein to note that this
controversial oligarch is feared in these parts of the world – even the Deputy
President is no match for him. (And this is true, according to my talkative friend).
He narrated a story of how one Jackson Mandago had
been duped by his namesake Mr. Jackson Kibor, in what some folks in my
village may term as a “Smooth Operation”.
This is, I guess, how it all went down in the meeting between Mr. Kibor
and Mandago (pronounced “Mantagoo” by that narrator up there):
Kibor: (Gets into the Governor’s office, casually)
Habari yako governor?
Mantagoo: Mzuri sana mzee. How have you been and
how is business going?
Kibor: Very
well. Things have not been bad for me, as many might think.
Mantagoo:
That’s good to hear. So tell me. What
brings you to this office today? You know it’s very rare and strange of you to
show up in these places.
Kibor: Very true. It’s only when I have something
important to discuss that’s when I come here personally, otherwise I would have
called. I have been thinking of making investments in the stock market of late
but unfortunately I don’t have enough cash now since I pumped what I had into
the maize brokerage business. In a nutshell, you can say I am now broke. So I have
been thinking of…
Mantagoo: Okay. Okay. What are you driving at? Just
make your point and we see what we can do.
You know I won’t disappoint you. Just say what it is you need.
Kibor: Thank you so much for that buana. Let me get it out. You know that
house I recently built for my 6th
wife and youngest wife? I want to sell
it. Urgently. I need the money.
Mantagoo: Wow! That’s a magnificent house right there.
Having seen it with my own eyes, it seems you must be really in need of the
cash to even imagine selling that.
Kibor: Indeed. It’s never my wish to, but
arrived at this decision after thinking hard and finding no other possible way
of getting that amount fast enough.
Mantagoo: Very true. I must confess that that house
is a dream home for many, myself included. (Laughs
the way a rich man laughs at the troubles of a poor folk). How much is it
going for? I might be interested in buying it, you know.
Kibor: I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me.
You know the net worth of that house. That palace, I call it. I would have sold
it for Forty Million but if it’s you, my son, I will give you at Thirty Five.
Mantagoo: Oh! Thank you for your special
consideration. But as a friend and “son”, allow me to give you 30M. No more. No less… and we seal this deal
once and for all!
Kibor:
(After thinking for some few minutes)…Fine. I will sell it to you
at that price but on one condition. I should get the money wired into my
account by close-of-business tomorrow.
Mantagoo:
C’mon! Trust me Jackson. I can
assure you by tomorrow morning your account will be reading a plus 30M. Mark my
word. Tomorrow morning. At ten, to be precise.
Kibor: Then we have a deal. Now that I have
a flight to catch to Nairobi to oversee the acquisition of the shares, can we
agree that we come and do the formal signing of the deal after I come back?
Mantagoo: Okay then. You are my friend and I trust
you shall be back here soon.
Kibor: Ahsante Sana and see you after three days.
Mantagoo: Kwaheri
and good luck.
(Two and half weeks and Kibor has not shown up for the deal-signing to give
Mandago legitimate ownership of the property. A furious Mandago calls Kibor and
threatens to send “his boys” to fetch [arrest] him if he doesn’t show up after
24hrs. This happened around 11 am. It’s 12.30 pm and Kibor is seated in Mandago’s
office, boiling with rage.)
Kibor: Why did you threaten me?
Mantagoo: You refused to come and sign the
documents.
Kibor: What documents?
Mantagoo: But I gave you thirty million for the
house you sold to me!
Kibor: What thirty million? That money
wasn’t yours. Kijana you’ve been a governor
for only three years and you can just dish into somebody’s account Kshs. 30M like
that? Remember I knew you even before you were a governor and you had nothing.
Not even a bicycle. I even paid your bride prize and now you want to tell me
you got all this money legally? (I think my
talkative friend exaggerated this part)… Now get this clear. There’s no way
I am going to give you any house or any money…And you can take me to court if you
want!
Mantagoo: But…Lakini…Don’t
be like that Buana. Nirudishie basi hata
nusu yake…
Kibor: (Who by now is standing, ready to leave.) You people steal from the
county and you want to eat it alone? There’s nothing I am giving you! (Walking for the door. Suddenly turns to
face his “victim” who is immobile on his seat). And remember I will be back…soon!
(And
with that Mr. Kibor bangs the door behind him, leaving indoors Mandago wetting
his pants.)
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