A REAL MAN SHOULD NEVER LAY HIS EYES TWICE ON A TATTOOED WOMAN:
There's this lady-neighbour of mine who came to me yesterday to ask for a 'man's perspective' regarding her relationship which, in her own words, 'had hit the rocks'. As a caring brother and one who has spent ages unsuccessfully trying to understand women, I saw this as a chance worth utilising and so in no time, she had effortlessly and freely won my attention.
According to her, her boyfriend of 3 years, whom she met here in town, had mysteriously disappeared. Well, I must admit that as she was narrating to me her woes, I couldn't manage to pretend that I cared. [That was mean of me but later on you will find it worthy to forgive me].
This girl was troubled I could tell; she was desperately looking for someone who was ready and willing to listen and I fell victim. From her incessant narrative I realised that she had made attempts of locating her run-away boyfie but no luck was forthcoming. I pitied her because from the look of things, she had placed huge hopes on the fella who apparently had been taking her for a ride.
She's my neighbour. I see her everyday. I couldn't sympathise with her. Why? I know something about her that I don't like and I strongly suspect is the cause my unlucky brother chose to run for his dear life. I used to think the fellow was a fool but after yesterday, I think I owe him a beer.
Allow me to elaborate on this and justify why I'm happy. LADIES you better LEARN.
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There's a clique of women that methinks any reasonable man of etiquette and one who loves himself for that matter should avoid like a plague. For instance, if you are a guy and you have this lady who wakes you up in the morning with infuriating nagging and ear-piercing clicks, why the hell don't you take a flight? This girl was not only too much for my boy, but to me as well.
Ladies when your man takes you on those expensive dates, don't think you have achieved a milestone. We, men are willing to do you anything to keep you by our side. This is because there comes a time in a man's life when one needs an adventure, away from the norm, and that is when you come in handy. We always keep in contact with to ensure that your availability is not under jeopardy. BUT one thing you should know is that this is just temporary - no permanency involved. What kind of a man can commit himself to a lady who knows how a Canadian Broccoli and French cappuccino taste?? NO! We can't take that risk! We instead commit ourselves to those who know nothing other than Sukuma wiki and Strungi!
You are a stupid woman if a man takes you out every weekend and buys you Lunch on Wednesdays and you think the Messiah has come. Poor you. As bitter as it may sound, once a man has pinned you on that bed, that's when you will know that start crying how he was a womanizer and how 'all men are dogs.' and we shall be nowhere to be found.
A smart man knows that wife-material women are those naive ones born in the village and raised by a grandmother who also doubles as the village midwife. Men who would like to establish families, firmly grounded on RESPECT will never propose to a spoiled brat who applies lip-stick that makes her look like a cat that has just finished licking fresh human blood! My dear brother run away from that socialite bitch who not only prides herself of a humongous butt but can tell you point-blank the difference between Vodka and Gin, Brandy and Whiskey. Run my friend and go look for that girl in the village who is always indoors before sunset!
Let me not even talk about those 'crazy' chics who have more body piercings than sweat pores. How on earth does one wear metals and bracelets on the strangest and scariest of places and expect a man to make a move on her? Pins everywhere; on the ears, on the tongue, on the nostrils, on the lips, on the eyebrows, on the nipples, on the...! Surely?
Just because men hang around you 'cause you look 'cool' with your bleached skin and tattooed breasts doesn't give you reason to even imagine that your big day is coming and you will be walking down that aisle soon. We only date you to look cool. Men are smart enough not to make a mistake of ever siring a baby with some girl of this type. NEVER. How do you expect me to react if I see my own baby sulking from a boob with a Python tattooed on it?
To cut the long story short, I think my neighbour-friend finally got some enlightenment and decided that enough is enough. So the nigga took off. If that's not the case, then it seems this girl next door is stupid and never took note of the signs that she was just being used as a bitch. I hope she has learnt her lesson.
So ladies, before you decide to hanky panky with any man, be careful not to ignore the signs, lest you end up lost like this hot girl seeking counsel from a Traditionalist like me.
And to the men out there, you just date these sophisticated, bootyfull township cuties but when your'e to settle and take that important step, PLEASE go for that Jepkemboi from Kabiyet or that Wangeci from Muguka or better still, that Kerubo from Nyakemincha!
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