( MAY 2014)
THE
UNFORGETTABLE LESSON MY GRANDMA AND AUNT TAUGHT ME:
On
Saturday 21st at around 9am in the morning I was scrolling through
my phonebook as I sought to reactivate my mind of the numbers that I hadn’t
contacted for long. Suddenly, I bumped into my aunt’s number and I said why
not. I called her up and our conversation was something like this:
MY
AUNT: Amunee ee telyani? (How are you my friend?)
ME:
Achamangei kabisa senge. Amune area noo? (I’m very fine thank you Auntie. How’s
that place?).
MY
AUNT: Kechamachegei kwelikweli Senge. Kemi kechabegei si kebe koe. (We’re very
well auntie and we’re
currently preparing to go for an engagement).
[Ooops!
So that was the day. All along I never knew that the engagement was that day. I
chose to divert the course of the conversation]
ME:
Ara amunee akot kokoe Komulwon? (So how’s grandma Komulwon?)
AUNT:
Chamegei Kabisa. Onie mi otie ngo’lonjin koro. (She’s very well and in fact
she’s here with me. You can talk to her).
[I
was delighted beyond description as I heard my Grandma ask: “Ng’o Noe?” (Who’s
that?) and I heard my aunt
respond “Kangogo na pa Paulo” (Kangogo, son of Paul) – I smiled with eagerness. She talked.]
MY
GRANDMA: Hello?
ME:
Hello gogo. Amunee? (Hello Grandma. How are you?)
GRANDMA:
Kichamachegei bwana kimeche kebe tumto. Po au neng’ung’e? (We are very well sir
and we are going for the ceremony.
When is yours?)
[I
felt cornered as that was the last of questions I expected to be asked that
time. I mumbled some few words
that I can’t even recall now.]
Kelenee inye? (What have you said?).
Yee metenye kiy memwa ile metinye si kemaruny. (If you don’t have say it so that people can look for you one).
[With
that she had finished me. Our grannies have a tendency of deriving strange
conclusions from such trends and
mysteries as late marriage and so forth. I had to find a way of maneuvering around her expectations lest she
concludes the worst abominable of me - that I’m impotent. I took refuge in the power of words and I shuffled
them wittingly.]
ME: Gogokolenkolenchinketuyendecember eeh!
(Grandma I thought I told you we meet in December Eeh!)
[Only
God knows when and where I made that promise. Anyway, my trick worked and she innocently bailed me out].
GRANDMA:
Kele ikuurej December? Kito konyo ng’o akot woloe kibwoni ache dunia mzima.
(You’ve said you will call us in
December? Nobody has been there of late and so we the whole world will come).
[There
are some emotions and wishful thoughts that make those who desire the best for
us to occasionally and with
authority preempt issues. This is what my grandma just did, out of love I hope. She knows I stay in Nairobi and I
simply told her that we should meet and talk in December.I didn’t say I was inviting anybody to Nairobi for
any reason at all, but she apparently
concluded that I’m having a similar
engagement in Nairobi this December and better
still, I’m inviting them for it! I decided to play along and conclude the ‘sensitive’
conversation there and then].
ME:
Ara ma leenoo eeh gogo lasima ketembean kore betusiechwee. (Of course it’s that
way grandma. People have to visit this area one these fine days). [Silence.] Hello? [Silence].
[I
thought my ancestors had seen the predicament I was in and decided to intervene
and rescue me by making my grandma mum
for some mysterious reasons. I wasn’t about to let them down and so I promptly reached for the Red hang-up button.
But just as I moved the earpiece away from my earlobe, I heard a faint hello
and I had to revert my ancestral-instincts-based decision…]
ME:
Hello?
MY
AUNT: Hello senge? Kamwanee ak Komulwon ee kibaibaet niteno ni? (What have you
talked with grandma that has made her this
happy?)
ME:
Ahhhaaaaa! Si unaelewa tu mambo ya wazee na maharusi. Lakini nitawaita tu soon.
(Of course you understand how our
old people regard weddings. I will just invite you soon).
[Well,
I had deliberately and meticulously resorted to speaking to her in Kiswahili and
talked of a fictitious wedding because
my next-door neighbour – who had hitherto been refusing my advances – had come by and I wanted her to know that
she might as well go to hell. Ahaaa!].
MY
AUNT: Ahaaaaahaa! Kureech nyi noe kile kekwoni kewong’unengei woli ma
kimwoi. Aahhaaa! (You just invite us and know that even those
from the “unsay-able worlds” will come. Aahhaaa!)
[I
couldn’t take more of it and so I did my best to elude her in a seemingly more
civil way]
ME:
Soosoo so senge ara makestetai chapkei si mechelewan am tumto. Si keng’alan
baadaye. Kongoi. (So auntie it seems
you I have to leave you to prepare for the engagement because you can be late. Bye.)
MY
AUNT: Kongoi anyoo Arap Kobilo. (Bye then son to Kobilo.)
[She
hang-up before I could have the last word. I sighed]
After she had hang-up I held my phone
against my chest for some time. The feeling that I felt then can neither be
explained in words nor be deduced by a simpler means but one thing I know is
that it was a strange feeling that changed my life since then.
A
lot of thoughts have been cycling in my head after that conversation with my
aunt and grandmother. I learnt one striking lesson regarding life and it will
remain with me forever:
I
realized that our old men place a great value in unity. My aunt talked of “we
will come” and “those fro the unsay-able worlds” (definitely not demons) and my
grandma stressed the pronouns “us” and “we”. Though they evidently were
speaking of “them” subconsciously, I felt that “those” other people greatly
impact my life. I knew for sure that the significance of these “they” in my
life cannot be ignored.
##########
In
this live I need people: I need my aunt, my grandma, my sister, my brother, my
neighbour, my cousin, my uncle et al. I need them not only for existence
reasons but for humanity’s sake as well.
1. When
I encounter the tornados as I row this boat called life, I need my uncle as my
role model to tell me: “Hey boy, I was there and I made it. Why not you? Keep
rowing nigger.”
2. When
I require to wisdom deduce the whole mystery about life, my grandma’s advice is
what I seek first.
3. When
I’m deeply sorrowed and disappointed with life to the extent of weeping, I need
my sister cry with me, wipe my tears and give me her shoulder to lean on.
4. When
I’m almost losing focus as I row the boat of life, I need my brother – of whom
I emulate – to be my rudder and point the
right direction of which I’m suppose to take.
5. When
I’m weakened and I need someone to humour back my energy, my aunt comes in
handy with her incessant jokes.
6. When the storms of life are too hard and harsh
and my boat is almost capsizing, the one who will come to my rescue is the two
neighbours of mine; the one whose daughter we grew up together and the one
whose son we share a business in town.
7. When
I reach the finish-line of this race called life, I need my cousins to pat my
shoulder and shout “Congratulations” and “Bravo!” as we celebrate and enjoy the
fruits of my, no their Success. There’s none who ever celebrates alone, is
there?
8. And
lastly, when my wife begins to grow long plastic horns and start nagging in my
compound (and worst of all in my presence), I need the village elders to remind
her that I have living kinsmen who not only paid her bride-price but own me
entirely!
I
Need People!!!
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