MURENONI KANGOGO

It all dates back to ’04 when I first joined Ebenezer. Let’s roll back a little. I was admitted by that beautiful secretary at around 3 pm and instructed to wait for the dorm captain who would from there take me to those static ‘rockets’ where I would spend the rest of the term in. As I was standing there on the stairs, some notorious form two folk came appeared and demanded that I should ‘kata’ for him. I was flabbergasted. He repeated sternly this time “Mono Kata!” In my mind I was like “I am Kangogo from Kasisit bwana, sasa kukata ndio kufanya nini?” As if he was reading my mind, the guy told me that ‘kukata’ meant that I should salute for him. Well, according to my judgment and experience with ugly people, the face and the body I was seeing in front of me was the ugliest of them all. (I actually thought the Koreans had adopted some wild animals and perhaps this one has just broken out of its cage.) I am small. I get scared fast. I saluted like three times...

I DON'T SUPPORT A POLITICAL PARTY that is hungry and greedy for power. But if you ask me, I will tell you point blank that Agwambo has NEVER been in Government at all! Here's the EVIDENCE. Having been a Lethal Opposition leader taking over from his father, Moi inn 1997 lured Raila and his NDP party into the KANU government with a promise that Moi would endorse him in the 2002 as his successor. Moi successfully lied to Raila and you know who was handpicked by Moi that year. In 2002, Raila marshaled his Loyal Lieutenants to massively queue and vote in Kibaki. This, according to many was more of a 'revenge' on Moi for his betrayal of Rao. Immediately Kibaki was sworn in, him and his Mt. Kenya mafia went on what I can call the Raila-Purging Spree. The Kibaki-led government used every state machinery to weaken Raila and seek to expunge him from Government. As this was going on, another group was busy luring the Opposition Leader (Uhuru) into governme...

SHAME ON YOU BARINGO COUNTY GOVERNMENT: I came through the video below and I must admit I have watched it several times and I can't get its essence and relevance. Knowing that a substantial amount of County money was, The BCG has once again failed me and any other Patriot with thoughts similar to mine. Here's why I say this: First, the video seems repetitive and vague. For instance, that road winding down to Kerio Valley has been used in the video more than Five times. I ask why didn't they record Berekei hill and bridge or at least use the amazing road scenery down Sesia? Secondly, the BCG didn't have to remind viewers that Baringo is the home of 'Kenya's longest serving president'. That's a true waste of money and airtime. Lovers of Democracy will tell you they wouldn't visit Baringo 'cause MOI comes from there. What forced me to watch the video for the third time also forms the third reason why I am shooting at the BCG. Frankly spe...

There are things that politicians - not only in Kenya alone but in Africa generally – do or say that make you wonder if some people were neither sired nor born nor given birth to but rather descended from other distant worlds, unknown to even to the savviest of scientists. This group of power-hungry individuals can sometimes make any other reasonable mortals to literally lose hope in life and living altogether. In Kenya for instance, I am sure I am not the only one who keeps away from newspapers and any news that they deem valuable. Moreover, I am also certain that out there, there are those who excuse themselves and find something to keep their ears and eyes busy when it’s news time on Radio and Television. You might say that I am exaggerating or making this up but you will agree with me that a sober man cannot withstand the comedy and petty games portrayed by our so called “mheshimiwas”. Whenever these leaders open their mouths in public, one would be forgiven to think that ...

“You cannot plant greatness as you plant yams or maize. Who ever planted an Iroko tree – the greatest in the forest? You may collect all the Iroko seeds in the world, open the soil and put them there. It will be in vain. The great tree chooses where to grow and we find it there…so it is with greatness in men.” “He who will hold another down in the mud must stay in the mud to keep him down.” “If you want to eat a toad you look for a fat and juicy one.” “An only palm fruit does not get lost in the fire.” “Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.”  “A man who lives on the banks of the Niger (river) should not wash his hands in spittle.” “A man does not challenge his Chi to a wrestling match.” “When a new saying gets to the land of empty men, they lose their heads over it.” “The eye is not harmed by sleep.” “We do not want to be like the unfortunate child who grows his first tooth and grows a damaged one.” ...

Thursday the 8 th day of October 2015 and all  literates  eyes and ears were twisted towards Oslo, Norway for the much awaited announcement of the winner of this year’s Nobel Prize in Literature. Evidently many Kenyans and Africans anticipated the renowned author Ngugi wa Thiong’o to be crowned. There was indescribable hype occasioned by this overly exaggerated expectation was however short-lived and subsided immediately the big announcement was made. Majority of those from the literary fraternity admitted to their being disappointed after Svetlana Alexievich from Belarus bagged the accolade. Unlike them, I wasn’t at all surprised that Ngugi didn’t bring the award home. In fact, to my understanding, I think he neither qualifies for nor deserve it. In as much as Ngugi has been tremendously published, I consider him one of the most stagnant authors to ever exist. His themes aren’t dynamic at all. Flipping through Weep not Child, his first book publish...

WHERE THE RAIN STARTED BEATING KENYANS: 1.     When Mandela was seeking political asylum and a much needed protection from the apartheid government, he sought refuge in Kenya but Kenyatta's government shut him out forcing him to seek refuge in Tanzania. This explains why he (Mandela) never had a good relationship with Kenya from then. 2.         Kenyatta was born on 20 th Oct 1891 in Ichaweni, central Kenya and is considered as the country’s (Kenya’s) founding father. Mandela N. on the other hand was born on 18 th July 1918 in Mvetso, Transkei South Africa and is considered the founding father of S. Africa. 3.        Kenyatta’s book, Facing Mount Kenya, was written for him by one Bronislaw Malinowski, his mentor at the London School of Economics and published in 1938. The book in totality focused purely on Kikuyu ethnic group and its culture…Kenyatta wrote nothing else after that. Mandela’s first book, A...

AS LONG AS... As long as a country’s president got the guts, the balls and the audacity to stand on live TV to boldly dismiss and trash a Court’s critical decision; as long as the head of state can with impunity, at the expense of the electorate, use his powers to negotiate dubious deals meant to for personal enrichment; as long as innocent children are rounded up and shot on the head by terrorists because the mediocre ministry in charge of security failed to cover their small heads; as long as leaders pocket taxpayers’ money and walk away scot-free, standing tall in the corridors of power; as long as ethnicity in the nation has completely compromised integrity and politicians support those ‘guilty’ off open corruption; as long as the country hosts some of the most wealthy humans in the continent; as long as, half a century down the line, their exist five millionaires and fifteen million beggars; as long as it takes a million people one day to make one millionaire; as long as co...

A REAL MAN SHOULD NEVER LAY HIS EYES TWICE ON A TATTOOED WOMAN:   There's this lady-neighbour of mine who came to me yesterday to ask for a 'man's perspective' regarding her relationship which, in her own words, 'had hit the rocks'. As a caring brother and one who has spent ages unsuccessfully trying to understand women, I saw this as a chance worth utilising and so in no time, she had effortlessly and freely won my attention. According to her, her boyfriend of 3 years, whom she met here in town, had mysteriously disappeared. Well, I must admit that as she was narrating to me her woes, I couldn't manage to pretend that I cared. [That was mean of me but later on you will find it worthy to forgive me]. This girl was troubled I could tell; she was desperately looking for someone who was ready and willing to listen and I fell victim. From her incessant narrative I realised that she had made attempts of locating her run-away boyfie but no luck...

THE ONE QUESTION I WOULD LOVE TO ASK MUGO WAIRIMU: I don't have a girlfriend; but I have a sister whom I love to death.  I don't have a wife; but I have a mother who means is everything to me. I don't have a sugar-mummy; but I have aunts of whom I swore to die for. Do anything stupid to ANY of them and I screw you mercilessly.  ### After watching the video of that 'gynaecologist' Mugo wa Wairimu, I felt it one of my duty as a man, as brother, as a nephew, a son and as a later husband to speak my mind about the story. First and foremost, I would like to commend you for the humongous following you have that is so irredeemably tribal to the extent of rubbishing off something that even a three year old can feel disgusted about. I choose to say no more 'cause I pity them. Before I proceed however, I would like to put something across that I consider the 'doctor' innocent until otherwise proven guilty.  As a law-abiding citizen...